A nationally recognised journalist this morning rebuffed allegations that he lacks journalistic professionalism, declaring in a prepared statement that that he has never proof-read an article, and ‘[doesn’t] plan on doing so anytim (sic) soon, cunts’.

Betoota Advocate Editor Errol Parker offered the remarks as his first response to criticisms which have plagued his journalistic career. Commentators have long noted the political firebrand’s refusal to proof-read literally anything published by his paper, but Parker had refused to comment up until this point.

‘I’ve pounded the pavement in towns as diverse as Innamincka, Birdsville and Ogdenville looking for the stories that matter, and I won’t stand for this slander. And you know what? I’ve never seen an error in spelling or grammar on a single one of my stories.’

When asked whether this was because he had never in fact read one of his stories, Parker responded: ‘I came here to lead, not to read.’

Inspiring words from a man of questionable literacy.

No more to come.