Third year Economics/Law student James Davis has launched a fiery rebuke against the UQ Academic Registrar after he was charged with academic misconduct this morning.

Charges were brought by the Registrar following allegations that throughout Semester 2 of 2019, Davis solicited a number of classmates for screenshots of their completed CML quizzes for ECON1020: Introduction to Macroeconomics. The Obiter understands that these quizzes constituted up to 20% of the available marks for the subject, a tantalising sum for a student who has consistently struggled to perform in exam season. The Registrar’s suspicions were first aroused on August 14th, the due date of CML 1, when Davis managed to achieve a score of 100% on the 10 question quiz despite only using 40 seconds of the allotted time. However, with only circumstantial evidence, the Registrar declined to prosecute.

Even more concerningly, the whistleblower’s report alleges that Davis requested the answers on a quid pro quo basis, allegedly telling one classmate: “look mate, nobody needs to know about this. I can make it worth your while,” before lifting up his shirt to reveal six Curly Wurlys tucked into his waistband.

Davis took to Twitter to attack the credibility of the charges, labelling the Registrar as “Slimy and Desparate”, characterising the investigation as a “Witch Hunt” and defending his “perfect” performance in the quizzes. The Tweet comes as a sharp departure from his usual pattern of posting, which largely consists of uncreative abuse directed at French rugby referees.

When asked at press time why he was taking a first year economics course when he is a third year Economics student, Davis became flustered, and eventually violent.

“I don’t need to defend myself to you fuckwits!” spat Davis, before throwing a Curly Wurly at an attending journalist. Davis was immediately apprehended by police and charged with assault occasioning deliciousness. The journalist was unharmed.

More to come.